All of our four children were born here in Japan. They have of course all met their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins... but the meetings are limited to our furloughs. Pictures and video recordings are able to bridge the distance, but only partly. This means, we mostly have to rely on ourselves as a core family. The people who look after our children, who bring them up and even their relations, are limited to us, the parents! Even though we have lived for 11 years in the same town, the connections we have with people aren't of the kind to just be able to drop round to someone's house and leave a child for a few hours with someone. Of course we could use the local day care centre, but this costs ten dollars an hour.
In two languages
While at home it's our principle to speak German within the family, with the people at church, in the neighbourhood, and at school, of course, we speak Japanese. Often we hear: "Isn't it great that your children are growing up bilingual!" Well, this is true and until school begins it is not a problem. The difficulties start with the need of selecting a school. What shall we make our main language? What's available locally?
For us, the easiest way was to send our children to the local Japanese elementary school. We have observed that they are more and more comfortable in Japanese and even use it when they play amongst themselves. But at the same time, because we are not Japanese parents, they don't know a lot of words or get background knowledge and help from us. The Chinese characters are just too difficult and too many, to be able to help them a lot. At home the children learn German by using material from Germany, with the assistance of a short term German language helper. Often, after a long day at Japanese school, there is not much time and motivation left to do some German homework! Quite often tense situations arise. We are not sure how to educate our children in the future. That's a big prayer request.
Downs Syndrome
Our youngest child, Silas, who is nearly two, has Downs Syndrome. We are able to attend a local group of about 10 mums and toddlers who have special needs, twice a week, where we sing songs and have lots of activities and a meal together. Attending these specialist groups has opened up another world to us. Some of the mums came to our Christmas ladies meetings at the church and we have lots of opportunities to chat during the meetings.
Between two worlds
Our oldest daughter Simone sometimes asks, "I am German, aren't I?" To look at her you would have no doubt! Her school has about 600 pupils and she is the only foreigner. Everyone knows her. But all our children have spent more years in Japan than in the home country of their parents. Their conception of Germany is rather vague, if at all, present. They know and are influenced by the social manners, behaviour, food etc. of Japan. At the moment they feel very comfortable and at home. Because we are Christians, they do not simply take up the Japanese religious values, but trust our opinion. But nevertheless, Japanese influence is very strong, for example, the strong identification with the group. A lot of activities in the kindergarten consist of doing things as a group. At school they not only study, they are trained in finding out together as a group. They clean the classrooms together, they eat together, and they play together. The engagement of the teachers is unbelievable. They even write cards to every pupil during the summer holidays and over New Year.
Going home in March for one year will bring big changes for our children. They will notice big differences, for example, in the cost of living (milk will be 70% cheaper), in the living space (no need to clear the mattress away for a play area). They will need some time to get used to potatoes (instead of rice) and will certainly have to get used to a different style of being taught in school and kindergarten.
As missionaries we need to be flexible. In Kusatsu we are already living in our fifth house. Our stay in Germany is also only for a limited time. This reminds us that, "We are citizens of heaven." Our life on this earth has got something nomadic about it. We hope that the children feel sheltered and safe because we stick together as a family and because of the knowledge of a father in heaven looking after us.
Private life with an audience
So our life is a mission, to demonstrate family life, care for people and a lot more. We have to invest in our family, take priorities and that also means we have to skim off some of our involvement in the church or other activities. As a missionary family we have similar problems to every other family and a few more! In all these challenges we want to trust for God's help and leading. We are very thankful to be able to be in Japan as His messengers.
Jurgen and Gisela have been in Japan for thirteen years and have four children, Simone (10), Nathanael (7), Micha- Lukas (5) and Silas (2).