"It was the first time for me to listen to the Gospel"

When I was 18 years old, I moved to Tokyo by myself, to study at University. It was exciting for me to study in a big city.  I had been born in a small town in western Japan and had grown up in a traditional family. Our family business was selling  Japanese    kimonos and obi sashes.

 

In 1968, I had to quit studying, because my parents and my husbands parents arranged our marriage. Arranged marriages were common and we did not know each other very well at all. As a result, there were many problems between us. I blamed my husband, judged him and spoke ill of him to others. The more I blamed him the more I became depressed. Disappointment in my married life made my heart heavy and dark. I was living a lonely life.

One day I found a small piece of paper in my mailbox advertising a Sunday School. At that time, my three year old daughter and I had nothing to do on Sunday mornings. We used to spend the time lazily. I called the church and spoke with the pastors wife. I asked her, Can I go to Sunday school with my daughter? She answered, Sure you can. Immediately I decided to go to church. At Sunday school, I enjoyed singing childrens hymns. There was rejoicing in my mind and I understood the stories of Jesus that I heard. In the meantime, the pastors wife asked me to study the Bible with her, while my daughter was attending the Sunday school.

After a while, the church had a special meeting and invited a guest speaker. I attended the meeting. It was the first time for me to listen to the gospel. But all I remember were the guest speakers words, All of you are sinners by birth. He pointed at us and said, "Everyone is a sinner". Next, he pointed at me. I thought, "No, I am not a sinner. I have never stolen anything. I have never been in jail before!"  I was not aware of the meaning of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the cross. I was not aware that He died on the cross to redeem our sins and that He washed away our dirty sins with His blood.  But afterwards, I had an opportunity to listen to a tape by a Japanese psychologist who is also a medical doctor. While I was listening to the tape, I finally recognized that the thing I was searching for was peace, peace in my mind. At that time, there was no peace in my mind because of the many troubles between my husband and me.

When I realized that, I immediately repented of my sin. I could not stop crying and I was converted. I began to walk as a Christian. Before I became a Christian, I was very stubborn. I did not want to be influenced by others. I was fond of the saying, "Going my way." But now I know God. He helps me and gives me real abundant life and peace. Even though I am depressed or in deep sorrow, I can ask Him to help, and I can depend upon Him. I changed my motto from "Going my way" to "Going God's way".

I lift up my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.

Praise the Lord!     Psalm 121

Regarding my marriage, I could not trust my husband.  I did not open my heart to him because I could not agree with the way he lived.  He spent unbelievable amounts of money and had relationships with many women.  He fathered a child with one woman.  In particular, his own mother was very jealous of our relationship and her existence was like a huge dividing wall between us. He was so close to his mother.

Little by little my husband began to ignore me and our daughter. After 20 years of our marriage, he finally left home. My daughter and I  had to move to my mother- in- laws house which was in the same city because my husband sold our house. Unfortunately 8 years later we divorced.

Fortunately I was a Christian. If I did not know God, I would not have forgiven my ex-husband. But I knew God, who is merciful and takes care of us under any circumstances. Because I had reconciliation with God,  I could forgive my ex-husband. Now I am willing to have an opportunity to meet him and would just like to say, I am sorry. When I was in America, where I was able to attend Bible Seminary, God showed me that I need reconciliation not only with Himself  but also with my ex-husband. This still needs to be worked out. 

It is my joy to have peace with God and I want Him to use me for the rest of my life.